Hi guys, gals and non-binary toasters, it's me, your favourite exchange student, Kirahen04. I am just a normal guy on the outside, but you might find that my private life is full of wacky adventures and existential crises! Join me on the journey to retirement or leave... NOW!!!!
13:10 Today I fucked up. I said the number 3 and, out of all 25 numbers in the danish language, that was the one that got me to need to presentate something. Here's the problem... I didn't do any presentation!! Why, you may ask? because last friday I needed to read a text and write about it in 4 hours. It took me 3 hours and 45 minutes to read the text because of my handicap, and I wasn't able to even start looking for a blog to presentate about. So here I am, writing this off of borrowed time and hoping Thomas goes on just a little bit longer so I can write enough to make a presentation about... Oh crap he finished it's so over gang
13:25 OK by some miracle I was able to evade the presentation, because the Danish teacher had mercy on me and made another girl go instead of me. Her sacrifice is greatly appreciated.
15:54 I should probably explain why I made this whole website in the first place... Basically it all started last monday, when our math teacher gave us a math project to do. We were finishing off integration with Simpson's rule of integration, and we needed to write a report on it. Not only that, but to make it more fun, he decided to make us ask AI to design a website that calculated Simpson's method. Now I'm all for AI helping people learn stuff and making interactive projects like this one possible even for people who are not experienced... but I had just a little bit of experience and I knew this place (neocities) where one could host their own website. So I decided to take on the monumental task of learning HTML, CSS and JavaScript from scratch and trying to make this website. After tomorrow I will not be further modifying that calculator, just in case I actually keep designing websites and get better at it, so I can look back to where it all began.
So... here I am. I don't know if I will keep writing this blog, I don't know if I'm gonna even touch neocities again after this assignment has been given in, but it's always better to start, even if I end up going nowhere with it... It might come in handy in the future, who knows?
Now for something different, I have some plans for the weekend. I currently live somewhere in the greater København (Copenhagen) metropolitan area and I was thinking: I love listening to music... and I love walking... so why not take a walk all the way to Frederikssund? Google Maps says it will take approximately 8 and a half hours, but I walk faster than Maps so I think it will only take around 7 hours to get there. I want to go on Saturday because both my host parents are out and I have nothing to do all day... So it could be a nice way to kill the time, yk? I just hope it doesn't rain when I finally do this stupid thing.
05:36 Good morning guys, if you're asking yourselves why I'm up at this hour, well funny story actually... I left my computer on overnight with an autoclicker running because I gotta grind games while I'm sleeping too yk. Anyway, usually I unplug the audio so I don't get woken up randomly by a discord notification... well guess what just happened.
Lmao but fr now I am actually way too awake to go back to sleep, not to mention I would need to wake up in 20 minutes anyway so it's not the end of the world, but it's still a bad start to what is probably going to be a bad day >:(
06:48 Just as I suspected today just keeps getting worse, I just found out that I start school at 10:00 today instead of 8:00, so I could've still been sleeping by now, but nOoOoOOOoo, I just need to be an unlucky guy today...
I don't even like the subjects I'm doing today (danish and P.E.), I wish I could just skip but I've already skipped too much this year so I need to be really careful.
16:44 Happy father's day! (In Italy). Anyway yesterday was not so bad but I had P.E. class so it wasn't so fun (I liked P.E. when we did athletics, not dancing like bro I wanna jump all around the place, not dance a slow dance as a woman because there's a 3:1 ratio of boys to girls in my class so I'm forced to dance with one of my male classmates which is honestly quite cringe omg but enough I'm rambling).
Today I also decided to learn Sütterlinschrift for no reason in particular other than the fact that I saw a video of Japanese calligrapher Takumi writing in that calligraphy and I thought "that lowkirkenuinely looks beautiful" and I tried it myself, and I think it looks really nice, very impractical though.
14:46 It is officially the equinox, though I was surprised to find out that this does not coincide with the day of equal light and dark, also called the equilux. I recommend looking it up yourself cause I'm really bad at explaining stuff, but essentially, the equinox measures an astronomical phenomenon, and the equivalent on Earth would be measuring when the centre of the Sun rises above and dips below the horizon. But the time of light and dark are not measured that way! The day officially starts when the top edge of the Sun rises above and dips below the horizon (i.e. starts the first moment you see the first part of the Sun and ends the last moment the last part of the Sun is seen) (I told you I'm bad at explaining things xD). So all this just means that march 18th was the day of equilux, and the equinox had the day 12 hours and 9 minutes long.
Let's get to the meat and bones of today, though. The real reason I pulled out this blog. Yesterday I desperately wanted to continue learning CSS and make my website a little better, but every time I stopped and actually sat down to focus, I would grab my phone in search of the new tiktok meme after only 2 minutes, get disctracted and spend the next hour studying calligraphy,and even that was interrupted by YouTube, so I said: enough is enough. I installed minimalist phone and I already realize the effect my phone has had on me. Every time I pick up my phone now and I'm not suddenly flashbanged by 8 different cat images in 3 seconds (animated wallpaper), I get the sudden realization that I'm on my phone when I really shouldn't be, and that has really made me think how much time I wasted on my phone that I could have spent doing other things, or simply just being bored (which is really good for you btw). So now either I pick a new side hobby that I enjoy or I just spend way more time being bored and not knowing what to do, but doing nothing is better than doing something that actively rots your brain.
(Now watch me in 2 weeks time completely relapse by uninstalling the app and returning back to square 1 lmao)
21:17 Today I walked a grand total of SEVEN HOURS. Towards the end I was genuinely struggling to walk and now I probably have a fever lol.
I just want to go to sleep now, but tomorrow I will add the photo album with all the photos I took and why I took them / some backstory, here.
16:06 Ok today has just been a pretty normal day turned into a pretty shitty one. Everything was normal (me procrastinating my homework) until I got the corrected version of the group project this whole website owes its existence to... And it wasn't really good. The whole formulation of the report was done wrong, with several parts missing, and I put way too much effort into this, so much that the people I was working with were left with nothing but translating and formulation to do, and that's boring as hell so they half-baked a report and sent it out to the teacher, who, when reading "with the use of Kiran's website", rightfully asked why it was just mine and said that this should've been a group project.
I don't like to play the blame game, I know all of us were at fault, but I put a lot of that fault on myself. If I hadn't gone along and done everything so early, then I could have gotten my friends to take this a bit more seriously, instead of giving them the mentality of "Oh it's fine, Kiran will do everything for us". Usually for these group projects I always go "you guys deal with the "Danish" part of the assignment, I'll do all the tehnical bits" so I'm not completely fucking useless, cause that's what I am. I refuse to put any effort into learning Danush cause "oh I'll go back home in 2 months so what's the point" and that results in me not being able to do anything in Danish without having to put in so much effort that I get stressed during the process and burnt out in the end. It's genuinely exhausting and I know I could do so much more if I wasn't so lazy / brainrotted all the time. Now I have something I put way too much effort in being useless, a Danish assignment that I am actively building a shelter against atp, and on top of all that I'm supposed to "take a break" and "be bored for a bit to let the mind recover" when I'm so stressed I can't take it anymore.
This whole crash out is also dumb because at the end of the day, it's a math assignment, not a life's work, and the outcome doesn't decide shit, I should be proud of myself for even learning how to build a semi-functional website, but I have always thought grades and other people's judgement were the most important things to life, and now that I've "disappointed" my math teacher, I feel like I'm going to explode.
Sorry for this flow of conciousness, I'm just really stressed for no reason, and that makes me more stressed. I'll try to relax now.
19:30 Update on the whole math situation, I re-read what the teacher wrote at the end of the report and showed it to my classmates and they all agreed that it was lowkey just bullying me. I guess he got disappointed when "the italian exchange student that knows more math than anyone else" ended up making the worst group project in the class. This is the same teacher that gave us a surprise math test in the last 30 minutes of class yesterday... Yeah.
In other news, I am going to Sweden by train on Saturday, and tomorrow is the last day of school before easter break. I can't wait to finally relax lmao
21:08 I bet you're wondering where I've been (no you haven't you liar I know nobody reads ts), I was in Sweden building a sauna, like, and actual big barrel sauna, and I am going to share some photos here